I’m going to be honest here, if you just met me, chances are I’d 10000% tell you I was 28. I don’t know what it is but that’s just the first thing that pops out of my mouth whenever people ask me how old I am. It might be because that’s how old I was when I got married and so that’s naturally what my mind sticks with? OR maybe I’m just in denial about being 30, or maybe it’s a little bit of both- I’ll let you decide what it is. Being even more honest here, if I accidentally did tell you I was 28, I’d 10000% not correct myself and just go with it for the rest of our lives. It is what it is, ya know?
Saying 30 is definitely going to take some getting used too. But now that I’ve had some time to really reflect and soak in the fact that my 20’s are behind me, I thought it would be fun to do a little expectation vs reality of the things I thought would happen by a certain time and when they actually did.
+ Getting Married
Expectation : Growing up, I definitely thought I’d be engaged by 21 and married by 23.
Reality: Engaged at 26 married at 28. Looking back, I honestly have no clue how or why I thought 23 was the age to be married at. I mean, if you are congrats!! But for me, in retrospect, I definitely was not ready at 23 to be married. I mean I had just met my soulmate (and didn’t know it yet) at 20- but we can talk about that another day!
+ Starting a Family
Expectation : First kid by 25, second by 30. Do we all put age limits on everything or is it just me?
Reality : Had my daughter at 29 and am no where near ready for a second (sorry Grandmas!) Who knows when we’ll have baby #2, we have no plans and are in no rush. I love just soaking in every moment with Avery and don’t want anything to take away from that. I also didn’t have the easiest pregnancy, so this body needs (and deserves!!) a good “break”.
+ Buying a House
Expectation : Walk into my glamorous house right after my wedding- seriously. I have no clue why, but growing up I always thought that buying a house and getting married went hand in hand. Like it was some sort of packaged deal.
Reality : We are just now *very* early in the home hunting/buying process and it is A LOT. I had no idea something like this could be so intense. Like why can’t I just give you the money and then it’s mine and we both part ways? If having a baby didn’t already make me an expert in the field of patience, home buying certainly will.
+ Savings Account
Expectation : I’m cringing as I’m typing this but here’s my truth- as long as I could afford the things I needed (and wanted) I felt like that was good enough. I never worried about saving any money. As long as I could pay rent, my car payment, and afford my Disneyland annual pass, all was good in the financial department for me.
Reality : Queue my financial analyst of a husband- I’m proud to say that at 30 we have a good amount in savings and continue to save. I’m very lucky that saving, investing, and opening accounts is something that he knows how to do/manage. I have literally ZERO idea what’s happening but when we do our monthly check-ins, I’m always happy to hear the reports!
+ Self Esteem
Expectation : Know you’re a badass woman capable of doing anything and everything at any moment in time.
Reality : Honestly, it’s a constant juggling match in my head. There are days where I feel on top of the world and then days where it seems like nothing is going right. This is something I’m constantly working on and everyday is different. I just try to remind myself to do my best (no matter what) and realize that some days “my best” might not match the day before and that’s okay.
Expectation : Put energy and time into maintaining every friendship I’ve ever had. My expectation for my friendships, especially those from middle- high school was to have “best friends forever.”
Reality : I’ve learned that just because you’ve known someone for “x” amount of years, that doesn’t mean you owe that relationship or that person anything. If the relationship is no longer serving you, or is requiring more work than it does joy, you don’t have to waste your energy on it. I definitely put pressure on myself over the years to do check-ins with people who didn’t necessarily reciprocate the effort. I’m proud to say that I’m no longer feeding into those friendships/relationships and it’s been a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. The reality is, as you get older, you learn who your real friends are, and which friendships deserve the energy and time put in.
Expectation : Grow up, get college degree, get dream job, get married, start family. Follow the “American Dream” and chase that white picket fence lifestyle.
Reality : Do what makes you happy, whatever that is. I’ve always been very Type A and strict with my goals and plans. I won’t knock myself for that- being that way has paid off for me- but I’ve learned along the way to relax and realize that life doesn’t always go as you planned and that makes for even more fun if you let it. I never imagined I’d move to Miami and live there for a year, that definitely was not in my 5 year plan at the time- but we had an amazing time and this blog was born out of it! A blog that has brought me a lot of joy and happiness over the years! I feel like I never want to regret not taking an opportunity just because it didn’t fit my “plan.” There’s a Thomas Rhett song called “Life Changes” and I absolutely love the lyrics “you never know what’s gonna happen, you make your plans and you hear God laughing, life changes (yes it does) and I wouldn’t change it for the world.” Amen to that!
Well, what’s your biggest expectation vs reality so far in your own life? Let me know in the comments!