On the day this post will go live, it’ll be about a week after my birthday. I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on this past year and have realized how appreciative I am of all the things I’ve learned and how I’ve grown as a person this past year. So I’m going to use this little birthday post to toot my own horn! Also, my hope is that by reading the ways I’ve grown as a person the past year, that maybe these things will inspire you too and help you to also live your best life!

A big focus for me this year, was to do more of the things that make me happy and less of the “people pleasing” things I’ve notoriously done in the past. And I think that’s a really hard thing to do, especially when you’re met with some adversity as far as how other people react to it, especially when you’ve spent your whole life bending over backwards and showing up for people and then all of a sudden, you don’t or you retract from that, sure, people are going to be like “woah what’s going on with her?” or feel like you’re mad or upset for some reason. Because of that, I’ve certainly had to open the conversation up and I’ve had to have honest conversations with people in my life, telling them I’m not mad, nothings “wrong,” I’ve just mentally reached a point where I feel like I need to start prioritizing myself over everything else. And some people might think that’s selfish, but the people who love you and truly want and support your happiness, won’t mind! Trust me on that one!

Thinking about things takes me back to a quote I read and talked about in my post on boundaries-

“The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefiting from you having none.” – unknown

People who get upset by you doing what’s right for you or your family, are the ones who for whatever reason were in some way benefitting or taking advantage of what you were doing before. I whole heartedly believe that rings true. So in being 1000% transparent, I’m going to talk about some of the things that I’m proud of myself for over this past year, and will continue to work on going into my next year 🙂

+ setting and respecting boundaries : more than ever this year, I’ve spent time focusing on setting boundaries and sticking to them for my own sanity- so in essence, respecting my own boundaries to keep my sanity lol. Because of that, sometimes it takes me days to respond to a text (especially when it’s on a weekday, because I go from work mode to mom mode to sleep mode before doing it all over again, so responding to a text doesn’t always sound appealing to me once I’ve tapped out for the night). It also means, sorry, but I’m going to be straight forward and tell someone if you’re not welcome to come over or “stop by,” it doesn’t matter to me how “quick” you think it might be.

+ celebrating : sticking to what I’m comfortable with and celebrating things how I want too, regardless of how that might look for others. For instance, as a person, I loathe long drives, I always have. Now stick a toddler into the middle of that- not my cup of tea, at least not when I’m solo. If something requires a long drive, say for a birthday party or whatever it is, and I’m solo that day (my husband is working), it’s just a no-go for me. It’s not worth the stress and chaos. Which doesn’t mean I don’t cherish or love the friendship, I’ve just learned that I need to honor my own peace for the sake of myself and my daughter, over the hassle of tackling a long drive on my own with a kid who’s learned how to unbuckle her car seat (which is really fun btw LOL). Also, for holidays, a girlfriend sent me this great video on IG about how when people get married and start their own families, they should be free to do what they want with their new family rather than be stuck in this tradition of going to this place or that place for holidays just because that’s the way “it’s always been.” I’m leaning into that harrrdddd. I chose to spend Mother’s Day with my husband and my daughter solo, and I have to say, it was the best day EVER. We did the same for Father’s Day as well, of course we made arrangements to celebrate with our loved ones before or after, but on the specific day, we spent the holiday doing whatever it was that we wanted as a family.

+ having more patience : I’m continuing to work on having patience, in every situation but I feel like this year especially, I’ve allowed myself time and space to realize that not everything has to be done “right now.” Being an avid multi-tasker, that’s taken some work, but I’m getting better!

+ stressing less : when it comes to just about anything; plans, work, traveling, kids- I’ve just learned to take a step back and put things in a different perspective. At work, if I feel stressed I remind myself that I truly love my job and that I will work out whatever needs to be worked out and sweating over it is just wasting my own time and energy. When it comes to my daughter, I’ve fully embraced the “go with the flow” mentality. I don’t try to control the days or force things on her that she’s not interested in. We just play and stay active to keep us both happy. I will say, it is hard though when I cook dinner and she refuses to eat it, but I’m working on letting that go lol.

+ giving myself grace : I think anybody who knows me would agree with me when I say I’m for sure a perfectionist. That being said, it tends to throw me for a loop when things don’t go exactly as I plan. Luckily, this hasn’t happened too much, but I am leaning more and more into giving myself grace, which has certainly brought me a lot of peace as of late! It has a lot to do with doing what’s right for me, and not worrying about how that might make others feel. I’m sick of being worried about “hurting people’s feelings” by not going out of my way to make things perfect for them. SO, this past year, I think I’ve grown in that sense.

+ prioritizing the right friendships : I let go of some friendships this past year that were just more work than anything else. And I truly believe that you should surround yourself with people who lift you up and revitalize you rather than people who are just kinda “there” or in essence, waiting to stir up any drama possible to make their life more exciting. I think for the first time in my life, I can say, I’ve got the BEST inner circle around me. Women who are there for me to vent to, cry to, laugh with, joke with; and that’s a very good feeling and the absolute best comfort to have.

Well, I won’t ramble on much more, but those are the basic changes that I’m proud to have made and will continue to work on going into this next year. I’ve also recently finished one of my favorite books- lighter by Yung Pueblo , so will end this post with some of my favorite take-aways from the book!

“Be real by accepting what you are feeling and stay true by maintaining your growth mission even when things get hard. The key is that you can feel it without becoming it.”

” Giving yourself time to witness reality without immediately reacting is a sing of progress in your healing. Now that you can see yourself and give yourself more time to process what is happening, you can more easily behave in ways that align with your goals and honor your authenticity.”

Here’s to the next year!