Musings from Labor & Delivery

Thoughts I typed in my phone, sitting in the hospital bed while baby and my husband slept.

+ Damn, I can’t believe I gave birth to this perfect, precious baby.

+ I’m never going to take my eyes off of her, ever.

+ Wait, I literally did the labor thing. The thing I feared (for good reason) for 9 months. Thank goodness that’s over with.

+ If I could get out of this hospital bed, I’d give a freaking standing ovation to the beautiful thing that they call an epidural.

+ But wait, WHY THE EFF DID I HAVE TO WAIT 2 HOURS TO GET THE DAMN THING. 2 hours of the most horrific pain I’ve ever felt.

+ It’s been about 8 hours post delivery and my toes are still numb.

+ Speaking of numbness, that whole right leg going completely numb after giving birth was really weird. When I tried to stand up for the first time, my leg buckled and I almost fell over, thank goodness I had a nurse on each side of me to help support me.

+ Even now, with my feeling back in both legs, I can’t walk or get out of bed without the help of a support person. Thank you hubby for being my personal crutch and walking me to the bathroom at all hours of the day/night.

+ My stomach looks like a half deflated balloon and it honestly made me laugh just a little when I finally looked at it.

+ So now I have a bathroom routine that’s more elaborate than any skincare routine I’ve ever had- pee, spray with peri bottle, pat dry with toilet paper (gently because holy shit everything hurts down there), dermoplast spray everywhere, put huge pad in huge postpartum granny panties, activate and then place huge ice pack on top of pad, line the middle of ice pack with 3 witch hazel pads, slowly stand up and pull the what feels like 5 lbs of materials up with you- making sure that ice pack hits just right.

+ THE BLOOD.

+ Thank you prescription strength Motrin. Just, thank you.

+ In 2 days they’re really going to let us just walk out of here with a living, human baby?

+ The whole uterus cramping thing post delivery, yea, that’s not the business.

+ Wow, I can see my feet again, didn’t expect to see them again so soon.

+ I can’t wait to shave my legs, like legitimately, without having to twist my body into some weird position.

+ Just so happy. A whole new level of happy I never knew was possible.

+ Tears of joy every time I watch Joey hold our baby girl.

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