I’ve seen the term “trad wife” circling all over social media and thought it would be an interesting topic to discuss over here on the blog. Whenever something “goes viral,” especially when it’s a topic of controversy, I really like to sit with it and figure out how I feel about it- and with MOST things, when it comes down to it, I could really care less LOL.

I think so much of what we discuss or argue over these days is really nonsense, especially when it relates or revolves around women. If you haven’t read or heard about the “trad wife” discussion, I will try to sum it up in the best way I understand it. The term “trad wife” is used to describe a woman who believes in and practices traditional gender roles and marriages. I have no idea why its circulating the web, but people have lots of opinions on it- some praising women who choose to live a trad wife lifestyle, others saying it hurts the feminist movement and puts women in a submissive position when it comes to men. I did some research because when I first read about it, I couldn’t understand why this was such a hot topic, mom blogs and accounts have been discussing the role of a stay at home mom for YEARS and I have not seen that cause such an uproar (socially at least, the working mom vs SAHM debate has been causing mom guilt for some for YEARS). What I’ve learned is; there’s a difference in perspective. Whoever comes up with these terms (including the authors of all the articles I’ve read online), say the main difference is being a SAHM is a choice while being a trad wife, stems from the strong belief (for whatever reason) that a woman needs to stay at home to raise kids and maintain a household- which means ALL laundry, ALL cooking, ALL things homemaking, while their partners work and are the ones who provide an income ($$). And at times, it seems as if women are being led or “forced” to live this lifestyle by marrying a man who believes a woman’s role is solely to do and provide those things.

I’ll be the first to balk at this term for that reason alone, because in our household my husband is the chef and without him, I’ll be the first to admit I’d probably eat cereal for nearly every meal. I have gotten better since having kids though out of necessity because most nights my husband is not home to cook, but he tries to meal prep for me as much as possible (love that man). So obviously I couldn’t be living a life more polar opposite of this trad wife lifestyle- my husband and I are a team and do a lot of things together, or split responsibility most of the time- after he cooks, I’ll do dishes. If he carried the laundry downstairs and started a load, I’ll swap it to the dryer and fold it when it’s done. We just balance each other and do things to get things done efficiently, not because we’re keeping score or anything like that. It feels like from what I’ve read about this trad wife lifestyle, men are to go into “the field” work, and come home to dinner on the table, kids ready for bed, and their clothes sorted and placed out for them to wear the next morning. WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. EFF. I could never subscribe to that kind of lifestyle. Now sometimes, in our household, things like this do actually happen, but not because I feel like I “have too” or because it’s solely “my job as a woman and wife,” but because if I have time, I know it’s helpful and something my husband might appreciate if he’s had a long day at work or whatever. Just like he’d do for me if he knew I needed some extra help.

Now- that’s obviously my point of view and the way I choose to live my life. The hate some of these women are getting online for subscribing to this specific type of lifestyle is kind of insane to me. As long as the women are happy and are choosing on their own, to fulfill a “trad wife” role, I don’t understand why that’s anyone’s business. And I don’t really see how it could be hurting the “feminist” movement. If there’s anything out there in today’s current climate, hurting the feminist movement, I think it’s the fact that we are allowing men to compete in women’s’ sports– but I will keep my mouth shut on the rest of how I feel about that because I could literally probably write a book.

For whatever reason, society seems to be obsessed with women and how we choose to live our lives- medically, socially, physically, how we approach motherhood, fitness, etc, the list is really never ending and I just get the sense that certain topics stir up controversy really because people are upset or disagree, but to me- the only thing that should matter is whether or not the women are happy, and if they are, then why does it really matter to everyone else? For the record- that’s how I feel about anything when it comes to women (as long as everything is legal LOL).

I think as long as you aren’t hurting anyone, why is it my business if Suzy down the street decides she wants to churn butter for a living and live of the land? If you want to raise 100 babies and do laundry while your husband works, good for you. You don’t want kids at all? No judgement. People have a right to make their own decisions without the “uproar” of today’s society always needing to get a word in on the matter.

I think we also contradict ourselves quite a bit too. We’re all about therapy lately and encouraging people to “work on themselves” and do what makes them happy, but then we’re mad when people are doing just that? It’s really a tough world where you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Anyways, that’s kinda my quick tid bit on the matter. What’s your opinion?