As I’m writing this, I am just a few days shy of being 6 weeks postpartum (at the time of posting- I’m now 9 weeks postpartum). I actually just got back from my 6 week appointment with my OB and have been given the official ALL CLEAR to return back to normal activity! Which makes me really happy because I’ve been itching to start running again, slowly at first of course.

I wanted to talk a little bit about my postpartum experience this go around- it has been WILDLY different than my first in all the best ways. I don’t know if it’s because I knew what to expect (and honestly expected the worst) or if Jaxson is just that chill of a baby, but I am actually really thriving this go around and loving my time at home with baby boy.

The first 2 weeks home after giving birth the first time, were complete HELL. I wasn’t sleeping due to Avery just being a newborn and constantly feeding and the anxiety I felt to constantly check on her to see if she was breathing or not- which now, looking back, probably contributed to A LOT of what made the first few weeks postpartum a living hell for me. For the first 2 weeks, I honestly did not sleep and if I did, it was 20-30 min here and there during the day when I knew my husband was watching Avery. Yeah, the postpartum anxiety was next level for me. I also went through some baby blues, I wasn’t eating- I actually had times during the day where I could not see out of one of my eyes for a few minutes (don’t worry, I saw my doctor) because I was malnourished and breastfeeding around the clock, so every reserve my body had was being used to produce breastmilk. Avery also went through a colicky stage where if I did not hold her, she would scream and cry uncontrollably until I picked her up again- this made getting any sort of “me time” nearly impossible early on. Anyways, all of this to say, I don’t think I took care of ME the first go around and I think that is something that my husband and I both prioritized this time. It was also COVID so the country was on lockdown, which meant getting out of the house and going anywhere or seeing anyone was not really an option during my first postpartum experience.

This go around, the second I felt recovered from birth, we started getting out and going on walks around the neighborhood everyday. My first walk was exactly a week after giving birth, it probably helped too that we had a toddler running around, so I physically could not lay down and rest or sit around as much as I did during my first postpartum experience, which I think really helped keep me moving, which helped me mentally feel better right away.

Call me insane, but I also think my body adjusted better the second time, which I’m chalking up to being more familiar with the hormone fluctuations. I remember with my daughter, I was in SO much pain recovering , it was even hard for me to sit up and hold her to feed her. TMI here, but the bleeding was much heavier and lasted for much longer than it did this time as well. The human body is TRUELY amazing and I feel like all the muscle memory was there and my body knew what to do to heal itself, which made this recovery much quicker.

A lot of people have asked me if I thought the transition from 0 to 1 kid was harder than going from 1 to 2 and I definitely agree that 0–>1 was a much harder transition. Sure, there’s more to balance and organize with 2, but I feel so much more confident this go around and am not over analyzing or over thinking things as much, which has really allowed me to be patient and soak in the newborn bliss more than I did the first time. I remember constantly worrying about whether or not Avery was eating enough, if her room was too hot/too cold, if she was getting sick, if I was stimulating her enough, if she was sleeping enough or too little– the list could go on and on (as most newborn parents know). Now, I’m trusting my body to provide for baby boy and trusting his instincts to tell me if there’s more he needs and I’m not overthinking every little sound I hear him make LOL.

Looking back, I think as first time parents, we put so much pressure on ourselves to do everything perfect and “by the book,” hell, I read about 15 books throughout my pregnancy with Avery about all the things I’d need to do and be prepared for. Throughout my most recent pregnancy, I didn’t read a single book, there’s just no time when you’re chasing a toddler around while pregnant, but I think that’s also contributed to me being a little bit more laid back and trusting in my instincts and confidence the second time around.

Which also brings me to another point that I found to be true! Being pregnant and taking care of a toddler was 10000x harder than being postpartum and taking care of a toddler. I was amazed at just how much energy I had to get up and play with Avery without having a 35lb medicine ball stuck in my belly! (Now, I don’t know if I would be saying the same things if I had a C-section, I don’t know what that is like so I can’t speak to it). But I definitely felt a lot better keeping up with Avery after giving birth.

I feel like this might be sounding a little bit too good to be true, and I definitely think it is at times. I find myself thinking holy shit, I only gave birth 6 weeks ago, how am I feeling this good and doing all these things?! So let me bring myself back down to earth a little bit, that first week (especially those first 48 hours after giving birth) were definitely tough! I hate the first weeks postpartum, there’s just no way around it. Wearing a diaper and having to ice and medicate and just physically recover all while taking care of a newborn who needs to feed every 2 hours (or less) is an impossible feat that somehow as women, we survive LOL. But it definitely SUCKS. I am so glad it is over with!

Alright, well that’s all I have for now, baby boy and I are doing great and Avery is so good with her baby brother!