Okay, let me preface this post by saying this was a suggested topic of conversation and I am choosing to share and discuss it because I’ve been there and I can share my experience dealing with it with confidence, knowing I did the right thing.

I also want to say this particular situation was something I dealt with years ago and with years under my belt, can still confidently tell you I would not have changed how I dealt with it one bit. I would do the same thing if this was something I was dealing with today.

SO here we go. Wayyy back when, it had come to my attention (by way of the grapevine, as these things do), that a very close friend of mine was being cheated on. Multiple sources and some whom I trusted, came to me with the information asking and hoping that I would bring it up to my BFF (spoiler alert; we aren’t really friends anymore, more acquaintances now but we’ll get there).

Obviously this was a very delicate topic and not one I took lightly. I wasn’t about to blow up her world until I had something more than just words circling around groups of people. So being a woman, I did what we do best 😉 I did some digging and long story short, I got some concrete proof that made me feel better about what I was going to do- knowing that I wasn’t just adding to a rumor fire.

I know I’ve touched on boundaries and morals quite a bit here on the blog, so I’m hoping that you might already know where I stand on issues like this. I’ve always firmly believed that when it comes to relationships, those are sacred and that if you’re willing to cheat on someone, you’re not meant to be with them and you should just break up instead of cause unnecessary pain. I believe in soul mates after all so there isn’t a lot of gray area for me, you’re meant to be or your not. And if you’re meant to be, cheating isn’t even a thing. I guess I should say I’ve also never been cheated on to really clear the air here. But it is a clear sign for me that that person is not your person if they’re willing to cheat on you. I know I’m rambling but I just want to really paint the picture that it is that black and white for me.

I don’t have any respect for anyone who cheats in a relationship and honestly, for the person being cheated on, they need to leave that loser in the dust and forget they even existed. At least that’s what I would do- call me cut throat but honestly, if that line has been crossed, I don’t care what is shared between the two people ( a house, kids, pets) it’s over in my book.

SO obviously, I never even thought twice about me bringing this information to my girlfriend, I knew I was 10000% going to tell her- I’d want a good friend of mine to certainly tell me if something like this was being whispered about. I just wanted to make sure I had some proof and went about it the right way.

Without getting into all the nitty gritty, we went out to dinner together and before she dropped me off at my place, I told her what I had heard and that I thought this was pretty serious and asked if she wanted to stay with me for a couple of nights.

The whole situation turned a little south, she wanted to confront him- which she did, with me sitting in the car while she did it. She dropped me off afterward and promised to call me in the morning.

Two days went by without me hearing a peep. Once I did finally hear back from her, all the truth did come out (he was in fact cheating on her), but she was choosing to stay with him and work it out.

That was a pretty hard pill for me to swallow because of how strongly I felt and still feel about a topic like this. Regrettably, we didn’t talk for quite a while after that because I was honestly hurt and upset that she didn’t want better for herself. I knew she deserved wayyy better and would find that, if she just faced her fears and didn’t stay in this particular relationship.

We spoke here and there for months after that and then I eventually moved to Miami and being in a different state was really the end all of that friendship. I think she was a little embarrassed about her decision and we just stopped talking and hanging out, I think she clearly knew I certainly wasn’t going to be down to double date with this person anymore.

Now, years later, I don’t know if they’re still together. I honestly don’t know anything about either of them. And maybe looking back, I could have tried to be more supportive of her in making this life decision, maybe we’d still be friends? I don’t know, but I do know that I’ve never been one to sacrifice on my personal morals for anyone and know that I did the absolute right thing by telling her when I did.

SO if you’re in this particular predicament, my answer is simple: yes, yes you should talk to your friend and let him/her know what is being said and what might be going on. They deserve to know and can do with it what they will. But if you keep it a secret or sweep it under the rug, it’ll just eat you up and honestly, what kind of friend are you being if you’re willing to ignore something like this rather than have the difficult conversation?

Well, what would you do? Lmk in the comments!