From the title I’m hoping it’s pretty obvious that I am not the one writing this post LOL. Today, my girl Carissa is back with a guest post!!! We’ve had A LOT of heart to hearts lately and I just thought her spilling it all and sharing with the whole world (or at least my little corner of the internet) would be helpful! Especially to share her perspective, after I share a little bit of mine! I’m hoping she’ll write another post to share here with the differences (in her opinion) between raising boys and raising girls. We talk a lot and I think girls and boys are definitely raised differently and are treated differently by society (whether that’s good or bad, I haven’t really put too much thought into). But it kinda ties into today’s post from Carissa- her expectations when it comes to her being a Mother in Law, and how from our experience, Mother’s in Law differ (mothers of sons vs mothers of daughters).

I think both boys and girls are raised to be independent and to take care of themselves; but as women I think we naturally have it in us to be caretakers, homemakers, safe places, basically we do it all. SO when it comes to your daughter or son growing up and getting married, I think girl moms know that they’ve raised their daughters to be independent and take care of (forgive my language) s&^t so once they’ve grown up, there is no longer any helicopter parenting- they trust their daughter will reach out when/if needed. At least that’s my perspective and relationship with my parents. I think women are raised to be independent and at least I know with my parents, they trust that I’m making the right choices and know what I’m doing, so they don’t worry. I love that. I absolutely love knowing that they know I’m taking care of myself and of my family and that I don’t need their input or approval OR if I do, I will willingly ask for it. Boy moms, I think just have a harder time for whatever reason in knowing that your son is doing what you’ve raised him to do, and that you’ve done your job and can finally let go (and I mean that in the nicest, most respectful way possible).

SO, without dragging it on, I’m going to share Carissa’s thoughts and expectations on the future that awaits her as a boy mom and a future boy mother in law!

Mother-in-Law Expectations (Boy Mom Edition)
Hi again!! I first want to thank my girl Amanda for wanting me to write a part II on her blog & allowing me to share my personal thoughts on her platform; it truly means a lot as her blogs are very meaningful and a big part of her journey as she navigates life.

Today’s topic is what MY expectations are, for my future self when I become a mother-in-law “boy mom edition”. Without getting into too much detail, my husband and I have been together for 14 years and I never really felt “welcomed” into their family from day 1. It never really “phased me” UNTIL giving birth to my baby boys.

I think the word in-laws get a very bad rap and in my opinion it’s the in-laws that do it to themselves. I think it is very obvious that the married couples tend to gravitate to the wives’ side of the family more because either the daughter and mother are best friends or boy moms tend to try and still “control/cater” their sons a little TOO much or in some cases both. Being a boy mom I understand how we can be a little “too much”. I mean girls grow up to be strong miss independent, and while boys do as well, us moms tend to do it with a little more “here let me help you” and we do it pretty much until they find THE ONE and BOOM the calls get less and the visits get shorter but it’s not because they don’t need us, but it’s because he found THE ONE that does it just like “mama”. So boy mamas know that your baby boy knows how to pick them because of YOU and to the wives be patient with us boy moms -we went from “here let me help you” for their whole life to waking up and it being all gone.

And in-laws, open your heart to whoever they bring home for you to meet and know it is NOT about the spouse fitting into your lifestyle it is YOU fitting into theirs and respecting their life choices. And always remember as long as THEY ARE HAPPY, THEN NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.

My Future Mother-in-Law expectations

1. Get to truly know both my son’s spouses and their families.
2. Open heart/mind to whoever they pick to spend forever with.
-Remember in-laws the moment they marry their little circle is PRIORITY not YOU
3. Respect boundaries
4. Only give advice if asked.
5. Never throw side blows i.e. “awe I wish I could see you more,” “will you be making time for us
this holiday?”, etc.
-Life is busy for everyone accept and be thankful any time you get i.e. Facetime, pictures, text
messages etc.
6. Do whatever it takes to get along with their future spouses family but also respect the
outcome. I remember being at one of my best friend’s wedding and other occasions after that and both the groom & bride’s families were laughing, hugging, hanging out and me leaning over to my husband and saying we will do whatever it takes to have a relationship like that with our future daughter-in-law’s and their families.
7. Open door policy.
-I will always make sure that both my boys and their spouses/families feel comfortable and
welcomed into our home.
8. Respect and understand their little family ALWAYS comes first.

9. It is about THEIR happiness not MINE

Well there you have it, MIL Expectations Boy Mom Edition! What are your thoughts? I would love to hear them all!

xoxo, Carissa

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Thank you Carissa for sharing your thoughts!!! Well, I’d like to hear your thoughts, what do you think? Do you think there’s a difference in boy moms vs girl moms and how girls and boys are raised? I’d for sure like to get into that conversation in the future. Let us know your thoughts! If you don’t want to share publicly on here, you can always send me a DM on IG!