Just some random thoughts I’ve jotted down for myself as I’ve ascended (or should I say descended?) through the first 3 months of my pregnancy.

+ Dude, I don’t know about this.

+ Nausea is the spawn of Satan. Can someone tell me when it ends?? Week 11 and still going strong over here.

+ I’ve officially gone 3 months without drinking a chai tea latte, but who’s counting….

+ If I were president, I would give pregnant woman paid leave for their first trimester. SERIOUSLY. Because holy shit. Women are fucking super hero’s for making it through 90 days of hell without a single coworker batting an eye or thinking you’re slowly dying from some incurable flu.

+ Oh yea, this feels like literally fighting the flu- 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. AND I’ve only thrown up once. I pray for the ladies that are throwing up constantly.

+ I thought 2 weeks of triple days for 4 years in college was exhausting… wait till you find out what it’s like being pregnant. Standing up and walking 5 feet deserves a freaking standing ovation.

+ Speaking of, if another coworker “calls out sick” I might punch a wall….if only you people knew.

+ Woke up at 9 am. Breakfast. 1 hour nap at 11 am. Repeat for the rest of the day. How in the world can you be this tired after doing absolutely nothing?

+ Starving….but yet want to throw any food my husband puts in front of me at the wall….

+ Dizzy spells. Damn.

+ I’ve never wanted sushi more….

+ Hi, raging hormones. Leave whenever you please.

+ So all of a sudden I have boobs…what do I do with these?

+ Do they sell jars of just straight pickle juice?

+ My husband is an angel sent from God to keep me sane and safe during this insane time.

+ We’ll get to that whole pregnancy is a miracle part eventually, right?